Friars Hill Traffic Report

We’ve been trying to upgrade our satellite service. Living out in the woods, as we do, there’s no such thing as broadband internet or cable TV, so we depend entirely on satellite to get information into and out of our house. It’s either that or holler real loud, and it’s...

Want to get lunch sometime? Lol. Who am I kidding? A girlfriend texted me last Saturday night: “Let’s plan a face to face this week,” she wrote. “I’m free any evening this week except Wednesday,” I lied. “Let’s do Monday evening,” she wrote. “Okay!” I wrote, quickly hitting Send. “Never...

I forgot my grocery list. I’ll try to reconstruct it here for your personal enjoyment: Dry Swiffer Toilet wand refills Half and half Shampoo and conditioner (My daughter goes through about a bottle of these every two weeks. She also never rinses the tub. If I slip and fall and...

Friars Hill Traffic Report - April 22nd, 2017 I received the following note this week: “I am so happy you have decided to return writing your commentary. I have missed your 'take’ on events. Your column is ‘one’ of the reasons I subscribe to the Mountain Messenger. I appreciate your...

I’m back, witches! So, how are ya? I’m sure a lot of you were hoping that I’ve been banned from publishing the Traffic Report due to my offensive, left wing missives. Sadly for you, I wasn’t. Granted, my boss did ask me to take it down a notch, and those...

Bon Mots from the Twittersphere I don’t Tweet. This is one of the many things that differentiates me from our president elect, Donald Trump. What I do instead, is quake in fear every morning when I listen to the news to hear what Trump has posted on Twitter the night...

What a shame that Bill Cosby turned out to be a serial sexual predator (allegedly), because I really miss his parenting advice. Honestly, I used to make a fair amount of my choices based on the answer to the question, “What would Cosby do?” Unfortunately, the answer ended up being,...

So, what’s new with you? (dramatic pause) You may be unaware of this, but I am expressly forbidden to discuss politics in the Friars Hill Traffic Report anymore. Which is Such. A. Shame. Because, I would absolutely love to enlighten you about my feelings regarding the election. I’ll tell you...

Remember that time, oh, about a week ago, when I was extolling how busy I was, but it was okay because I knew everything? Yeah. Me too. But here’s what I forgot to tell you: that night, I sent my family to White Sulphur Springs for our younger daughter’s soccer...

Man, I miss Molly Ivins. Ivins was a Dallas, TX, based political humorist who wrote for the Texas Observer, The New York Times, the Dallas Times Herald and finally, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. She died a year after Ann Richards, Texas’ last Democratic governor, in 2007. To my mind, those...