<em><strong>Friars Hill Traffic Report - April 22nd, 2017<\/strong><\/em>\r\n<h1>I received the following note this week:<\/h1>\r\n<em>\u201cI am so happy you have decided to return writing your commentary. I have missed your 'take\u2019 on events. Your column is \u2018one\u2019 of the reasons I subscribe to the Mountain Messenger.<\/em>\r\n<em>I appreciate your sense of humor. At times, you are so right on and even though, at times, I don\u2019t agree, I am willing to hear your side of the subject. I just love the way you write,<\/em>\r\n<em>Sarah Mansheim. Please continue. Well done! So great to see you in print again!\u201d<\/em>\r\n\r\nI was feeling pretty good about it until I realized it came from my mother.\r\nAnd then I looked at it again: \u201c...and even though, at times, I don\u2019t agree...\u201d\r\n\u201c...and even though, at times, I don\u2019t agree...\u201d\r\n\u201c...and even though, at times, I don\u2019t agree...\u201d\r\n\r\nSigh. Moms. We\u2019re the worst.\r\n\r\nLast weekend my older daughter got herself all dressed up for Easter dinner, looking just absolutely gorgeous in a little two-piece outfi t, her hair fi xed and makeup on.\r\n\u201cYou look beautiful!\u201d I exclaimed. (Here\u2019s where the younger daughter fl ashed me a scowl and I had to remind her that beauty is not a zero-sum game, and her older sister\u2019s\r\nbeauty did not diminish hers, and yes, honey, you are beautiful, too.)\r\n\r\nLater, the daughters were taking selfi es and posing for pictures for me to take, and the older one complained, \u201cI just can\u2019t take a good picture today.\u201d \u201cMaybe it\u2019s because that shade of lipstick doesn\u2019t really suit you,\u201d I said.\r\n\r\n<em>*record scratch<\/em>\r\n\r\n\u201cMom,\u201d she said, \u201cWhen a girl says she doesn\u2019t feel beautiful, you are supposed to tell her she looks beautiful.\u201d\r\n\u201cHoney you are beautiful,\u201d I said, desperately wishing I could take back what I\u2019d just said. But it was too late; I couldn\u2019t seem to stop talking.\r\n\u201cIt\u2019s just that color isn\u2019t great on you.\u201d She doubled down: \u201cI\u2019m not even wearing lipstick, Mom. This is just what I look like. Basically you\u2019re saying I\u2019m ugly.\u201d\r\nWHY IS THIS HAPPENING SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP OH GOD! I silently screamed. I realized I had Mommed her with the old one-two, compliment-criticism punch. Now I had to defend myself.\r\n\u201cOh baloney,\u201d I said. \u201cI can see your lipstick so don\u2019t even try to trap me in this mess.\u201d\r\nShe disappeared into the bathroom, and then came out five minutes later, her lips raw from scrubbing (she looked so much better!).\r\nAt dinner, she announced, \u201cDid you guys know Mom ruined Easter?\u201d\r\nShe supposedly was talking about how that morning I\u2019d screwed up the Easter Bunny business by telling my younger daughter that I had the receipt for the soccer cleats in her\r\nEaster basket in case they were too big. And that my younger daughter had stared deep into my dark, dark soul, and demanded, \u2018ARE YOU THE EASTER BUNNY?\u2019 And I had said, \u201cUh uh uh, well, kind of?\u201d\r\nBut it was more than that! My older daughter was shaming me for daring to tell her that her lip color was off. And she was going to tell my whole family: my mom, my mother-inlaw,\r\nmy sister-in-law, my father-in-law; she was going to tell them, \u201cMom ruined Easter because she can\u2019t keep a secret about the Easter Bunny, and she said I was ugly!\u201d\r\n\r\nI was furious and embarrassed. \u201cI\u2019m going to go outside for a minute,\u201d I said. \u201cNo one eat that last crescent roll! (priorities)\u201d\r\n\r\nI sat down on the porch steps and took some deep breaths as I looked out over the field across from the house, and I wondered, why can\u2019t we moms just leave well enough alone?\r\nAnd I don\u2019t know the answer!\r\nMaybe we think that since we taught our children how to use a spoon, we can tell them their cosmetic colors are wrong, or that some of their humor columns may be just a little too outrageous.\r\nSuch is the plight of the older woman: we have age and experience on our side, and we want to impart our wisdom onto our daughters, who, in turn, simply do not want to hear it. It\u2019s like spilling the (jelly) beans about the Easter Bunny - these things we moms tell our daughters, and the things our mothers tell us, may very well be true, but that doesn\u2019t mean we want to hear about them.\r\n\r\nSo here\u2019s my do-over:\r\n\r\n\u201cI don\u2019t know why those pictures aren\u2019t coming out! There must be something wrong with the light today.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cI love ALL your columns in the newspaper. You are absolutely right about every single topic you ever write about.\u201d\r\n\r\nAnd, finally, \u201cOf course I\u2019m not the Easter Bunny! The Easter Bunny is real: his name is Harvey.\u201d\r\n\r\nThere. Fixed.\r\nFor now.