<strong>By Tanya Hazelwood</strong> <p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Business in the front, party in the back</strong></p> It seems that I’ve been asked by people (mostly those trying to get sober) how I resist temptation. I really wish I had some life changing, explosive answer. To be honest, I have been so incredibly busy lately in my life with starting a new business, trying to write, spending time with friends and family and the anticipation of the grandbaby that I haven’t even really had the chance to think about whether or not I want a drink. When I stop and think about it, I start questioning myself. Why is it so easy? Shouldn’t I be struggling a little more than I am? Does it make me look like a poser that I am not down and out, shaking from withdrawal? I’m not sure. I do know that I did have a drinking problem and maybe it was easier for me, more than others to stop. This doesn’t mean by any chance that I think I am cured. I am fully aware that at any second I could start drinking again and be sucked right back into that hole I dug myself out of. <p align="JUSTIFY">Halloween time was always my biggest party season. I was the one that had the annual big Halloween bash and everyone got trashed. Last year, I was so drunk that I stepped on a rusty nail and it went through my foot. I woke up in my bed with only one shoe on. When I found the other one it was stuck on a board in my yard with the nail still in it. I ended up in the ER and had to get a shot. How did I ever think that was fun? Pretty much every time I drank I ended up with some sort of injury, either self-inflicted or accident. But the bright side of me being sober this Halloween party season was no hang-over, no injury, not next morning apologies and no awful mess to clean up!</p> <p align="JUSTIFY">So the moral to this story is maybe I’ve grown up. Yeah, it’s taken me almost 40 years to do it but I am all about wanting to have a successful business and be a wonderful sober grandmother. So many good things are happening in my life. I want to give my sobriety all the credit but I know, it was God’s doing. He knew all along the struggles I had. He loved me anyway. He had bigger and better plans for me. I don’t argue with him about why He waited so long to show me the light. It was this time, right now that He felt I was ready and He was of course, right. They say not to make major decisions the first year of your sobriety. Boy, did I throw that right out the window. Dangerous maybe, but I’ve never really been the one to conform to what everyone else says. Guess you can call me a rebel but I do know one thing. Now that I have a sober mind and an open heart to God, I pray about every single decision I make. Sometimes I have to wait because He shows me it’s just not the right time, but I believe in Him. He’s given me a whole new life. I no longer jump into things blindly. Everything is thought out and prayed upon. I would never had this clarity while filled with rum and soda. That always opened me up wide for that nasty old devil to come pound hard on my soul.</p> <p align="JUSTIFY">I am happy where I am in life. So, sorry if me not struggling sends you a red flag that maybe I wasn’t struggling as hard as I first told you. I wish I had all the answers for those who do struggle more than me. I don’t. BUT I certainly know who does have the answers and I hope that all who are lost find Him.</p>
